When I was shopping in Hong Kong in the summer of 2008, suddenly, I have an unknown incoming call. I knew that call must be coming from San Francisco, either by my mother or my sister. Surprisingly, it was not. It was called from my old middle school friend—Connie. Connie is the first friend I met in the US. We went to different high schools and colleges, so we did not hang out together that much. She called me and told me that she was pregnant. I was shocked that I dropped one of my shopping bags on the floor. She also told me that her boyfriend is definitely responsible and they will get married soon. I did not know what to say. I just congratulated her.
Last month, I was invited to the celebration of her baby’s full month. Right after I stepped in the restaurant, Connie saw me. She immediately carried her baby to my hands, and took picture with me. Her baby was so cute and adorable. Also, Connie was so happy that she finally became one’s mother. Unfortunately, last week, one of my friends told me that Connie broke up with her husband and she goes to clubbing every night. I was surprised, and immediately sent message to her. From then, Connie never replies me back. I try to call her, but she does not pick up. I am frustrated and worried, especially for her baby. If Connie went to clubbing every night, then who is taking care of the baby? It is so common to see a couple falling in love, breaking up and falling in love with someone else. However, when it comes to the decision of getting married or having baby, it is completely different. We really need to take time to consider, and make the best decision. These decisions are significantly serious and it is difficult for us to make it up once we make the move. For example, if a girl falls in love with a boy, but thinks this boy is not right for her, she can break up with him, and find another boy. However, if a girl got married and have a baby, the girl can break up with her husband, but what about the baby? Both of them need to be responsible for the baby, and might have to fight for the baby’s custody. Some people might say that teenagers are not mature enough to make decision, so it is forgivable if teenagers made mistakes. To me, it is definitely not forgivable. Whatever we choose, we need to take responsibility. If not, who is going to take responsibility for us? NOBODY! Age is definitely not an excuse. Therefore, it is best for us to consider carefully and then make the best decision.
Connie, if things have already happened, then there is no need to blame yourself. But keep in mind that it is always better to consider over before making any decisions. Be positive! And bless you!
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I think it is very sad to hear that your friend is having difficulties with her husband now that they have a baby. I agree that no matter what age, everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions. If a teenager is mature enough to have a child, then they are mature enough to keep the child's best interest with every decision they make. I think that the reason your friend and others in similar positions choose to break up with their boyfriend after they've had a child, is because they still think of themselves as young and they don't realize their full responsibilities. It is no excuse, and parents should always have their child's well-being in mind when they make decisions. Tearing away from your own child's father is not responsible, but selfish. Thinking before you act is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned.
ReplyDeleteHumans are not God, and of course we would make mistakes. Most of the time, we would spend lots of time on blaming ourselves or complaining about the mistakes. However, it cannot change what have happened. Nobody will be responsible for our lives expect ourselves. I deeply concern about what will happen to your friend's baby after I read your story. Maybe your friend is too young to handle all the tough things in her life. As an outsider, I cannot make any judgment about her. I know everyone has his/her path to follow. If they know what they are doing, that is enough.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a very important of one's life. I think teenagers are just too young to get marriage. They don't have any economic support. Also, before a couple decide to get marry, they need to think over and see if they are able to be responsible for the family and their baby. If they think they may change their minds after getting marry or they are responsible, they better not get marry. Marriage can affect one's future.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sad story. I agree with you about relationships and marriage. It is really hard to end a relationship when children are involved. My boyfriend's parents are divorced, and even though he is old enough to take care of himself, it is still a huge strain on him. A child's life is never the same. Divorce is really difficult, not just on the husband and wife, but also on the children.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above. This is indeed a tragic story, however, I think your friend has to take up the responsibility to face the consequences of the choice she made. I hope that your friend will learn her lesson and make wiser decisions in the future.
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