Last year, the day before Halloween, I spent the whole afternoon to finish my linguistic essay. Maybe because I stared at my computer monitor for a long time, I decided to lie down for a while. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was from my mother. I picked it up, and heard my mother’s crying. I worried and immediately asked her what happened. My mother said, “Ivy, please stay calm. Your grandpa just passed away.” I was stunned. I did not say a word. Actually, I did not even want to say a word. This silence was only lasted for 5 seconds. After that, I calmly comfort my mother and told her that everything would be fined. After I hang up with my mother, my tears just automatically fell down.
I was raised up by my grandpa. When I was young, my parents needed to go to work. It was my grandpa taking care of my sister and me. However, my grandpa needed to work from 9am to 5pm too. Therefore, every morning, my grandpa walked to schools with us, and then immediately went to work. Right after 5 pm, he rushed to our school to pick us up. Just by hearing this, it was so tough for my grandpa to work and take care 2 children every day. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with asthma. I needed to go to the clinic twice a week. Also, that clinic was only opened for weekdays. Therefore, every week, there were two days my grandpa needed to go to the clinic with me right after schools. It was so harsh. But, my grandpa did not ever complain. To him, it was his pleasure to take care and spend time with his granddaughters. Seven years ago, my family decided to immigrate to San Francisco. I still remembered the scene, where my family and I were about to go on the plane and my grandpa secretly swept his tears. We knew that he was sad that we were leaving, but he did not say a word, and just encourage my sister and me to study hard. Two years ago, my grandpa was diagnosed with liver cancer. He was so depressed that he did not even want to live anymore. However, with my family and my relatives’ support, he insisted and sought for treatments. He tried very hard, and suffered for a year. Finally, he passed away.
His whole life was just for working, and taking care my sister and me. When my sister and I were old enough to take care ourselves, he suffered with cancer. It just like that he did not even have time to rest and enjoy his life. It was so depressing. And if it was possible, I would really want to give my grandpa some time to enjoy his life, and not worry about us. But, things have already happen, and there is no way to change the past.
I still do not understand why I was so calm that day. I was sad too. I cried too. Maybe, at that time, I knew that if I cried over the phone, my parents would worry me too. So, instead, I chose to be the one that comfort them. Or maybe, I thought that my grandpa would not want us to feel sad for his death, but rather feel happy that he was finally release from the illness suffering.
Actually, my grandpa had a dream. He really wanted to attend my college graduation in the future. Although he would never see this ceremony physically, I would still try my best to make his dream comes true. Love you, grandpa!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
"What is my goal?"
“What is my goal?” is always one of the hot essay topics. I still remember that I had written this essay topic for several times, including in elementary school, middle school and high school. However, every time the goals I wrote were completely different.
When I was in 2nd grade, my goal was to become a cook. I really wanted to become a cook at that time. It was simply because that I thought a cook can eat and enjoy many kinds of food. When I was in 6th grade, I wanted to become a pilot. It was because I just finished a drama about pilots, and I was so jealous that pilots can travel to many different beautiful countries while they worked. Finally, when I was in 12th grade, my goals were simply to graduate from high school and attend good college.
It is so weird that as we grow up, we tend to have different goals and dreams. Also, the more we grow up, the more realistic our dreams become. In other words, as we get older, our dreams would not be something silly, but something we are eager to achieve. This really applied to me. When I was still little, my dreams tended to change so easily. It was changed just because I finished watching a drama or reading a book. And I did not even consider about different ways and possibility for me to achieve these goals. However, when I was a senior in high school, I really spent time to think about my goals and my future. Although my 12th grade’s goal was not something special, it was the first goal I really wanted to achieve it, as well as the goal my parents had for me.
Having goals are very important. It guides us. It is so natural for us to be lost and have confusion about our life, especially in the adolescence. For example, teenagers, such as the college students, tend to have a difficult time in deciding their majors. What they can do is to find their advisers. And then they should consider the advice, and decide on whether or not to follow the advice. Finally, they should take their decision, and set it as their goal. This way, if they were confused and worried about their future, they can just refer back to their goals, and stick with it. Without goals, we would be scared and worried about our life and future. It is just like how terrify it is for a little kid to go out alone, without knowing where to go. It is strongly encouraged that everyone should set their own goals. Perhaps the teachers see the importance in setting goal, they tend to use this same essay topic again and again.
Right now, being a sophomore in UC Davis, my goal is to maintain a good GPA, graduate, and find a stable job in the future. This goal sounds common, but it is my aim.
When I was in 2nd grade, my goal was to become a cook. I really wanted to become a cook at that time. It was simply because that I thought a cook can eat and enjoy many kinds of food. When I was in 6th grade, I wanted to become a pilot. It was because I just finished a drama about pilots, and I was so jealous that pilots can travel to many different beautiful countries while they worked. Finally, when I was in 12th grade, my goals were simply to graduate from high school and attend good college.
It is so weird that as we grow up, we tend to have different goals and dreams. Also, the more we grow up, the more realistic our dreams become. In other words, as we get older, our dreams would not be something silly, but something we are eager to achieve. This really applied to me. When I was still little, my dreams tended to change so easily. It was changed just because I finished watching a drama or reading a book. And I did not even consider about different ways and possibility for me to achieve these goals. However, when I was a senior in high school, I really spent time to think about my goals and my future. Although my 12th grade’s goal was not something special, it was the first goal I really wanted to achieve it, as well as the goal my parents had for me.
Having goals are very important. It guides us. It is so natural for us to be lost and have confusion about our life, especially in the adolescence. For example, teenagers, such as the college students, tend to have a difficult time in deciding their majors. What they can do is to find their advisers. And then they should consider the advice, and decide on whether or not to follow the advice. Finally, they should take their decision, and set it as their goal. This way, if they were confused and worried about their future, they can just refer back to their goals, and stick with it. Without goals, we would be scared and worried about our life and future. It is just like how terrify it is for a little kid to go out alone, without knowing where to go. It is strongly encouraged that everyone should set their own goals. Perhaps the teachers see the importance in setting goal, they tend to use this same essay topic again and again.
Right now, being a sophomore in UC Davis, my goal is to maintain a good GPA, graduate, and find a stable job in the future. This goal sounds common, but it is my aim.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Miss you!
When I was shopping in Hong Kong in the summer of 2008, suddenly, I have an unknown incoming call. I knew that call must be coming from San Francisco, either by my mother or my sister. Surprisingly, it was not. It was called from my old middle school friend—Connie. Connie is the first friend I met in the US. We went to different high schools and colleges, so we did not hang out together that much. She called me and told me that she was pregnant. I was shocked that I dropped one of my shopping bags on the floor. She also told me that her boyfriend is definitely responsible and they will get married soon. I did not know what to say. I just congratulated her.
Last month, I was invited to the celebration of her baby’s full month. Right after I stepped in the restaurant, Connie saw me. She immediately carried her baby to my hands, and took picture with me. Her baby was so cute and adorable. Also, Connie was so happy that she finally became one’s mother. Unfortunately, last week, one of my friends told me that Connie broke up with her husband and she goes to clubbing every night. I was surprised, and immediately sent message to her. From then, Connie never replies me back. I try to call her, but she does not pick up. I am frustrated and worried, especially for her baby. If Connie went to clubbing every night, then who is taking care of the baby? It is so common to see a couple falling in love, breaking up and falling in love with someone else. However, when it comes to the decision of getting married or having baby, it is completely different. We really need to take time to consider, and make the best decision. These decisions are significantly serious and it is difficult for us to make it up once we make the move. For example, if a girl falls in love with a boy, but thinks this boy is not right for her, she can break up with him, and find another boy. However, if a girl got married and have a baby, the girl can break up with her husband, but what about the baby? Both of them need to be responsible for the baby, and might have to fight for the baby’s custody. Some people might say that teenagers are not mature enough to make decision, so it is forgivable if teenagers made mistakes. To me, it is definitely not forgivable. Whatever we choose, we need to take responsibility. If not, who is going to take responsibility for us? NOBODY! Age is definitely not an excuse. Therefore, it is best for us to consider carefully and then make the best decision.
Connie, if things have already happened, then there is no need to blame yourself. But keep in mind that it is always better to consider over before making any decisions. Be positive! And bless you!
Last month, I was invited to the celebration of her baby’s full month. Right after I stepped in the restaurant, Connie saw me. She immediately carried her baby to my hands, and took picture with me. Her baby was so cute and adorable. Also, Connie was so happy that she finally became one’s mother. Unfortunately, last week, one of my friends told me that Connie broke up with her husband and she goes to clubbing every night. I was surprised, and immediately sent message to her. From then, Connie never replies me back. I try to call her, but she does not pick up. I am frustrated and worried, especially for her baby. If Connie went to clubbing every night, then who is taking care of the baby? It is so common to see a couple falling in love, breaking up and falling in love with someone else. However, when it comes to the decision of getting married or having baby, it is completely different. We really need to take time to consider, and make the best decision. These decisions are significantly serious and it is difficult for us to make it up once we make the move. For example, if a girl falls in love with a boy, but thinks this boy is not right for her, she can break up with him, and find another boy. However, if a girl got married and have a baby, the girl can break up with her husband, but what about the baby? Both of them need to be responsible for the baby, and might have to fight for the baby’s custody. Some people might say that teenagers are not mature enough to make decision, so it is forgivable if teenagers made mistakes. To me, it is definitely not forgivable. Whatever we choose, we need to take responsibility. If not, who is going to take responsibility for us? NOBODY! Age is definitely not an excuse. Therefore, it is best for us to consider carefully and then make the best decision.
Connie, if things have already happened, then there is no need to blame yourself. But keep in mind that it is always better to consider over before making any decisions. Be positive! And bless you!
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